My Thoughtful Response
by su-angelvicioso
Summary: This is just a response to a question a friend asked me about my otp and why I am so drawn to them. I'm posting it here because it is too long for anywhere else lol. You don't have to read this if you don't want to since it's not really a fic or anything. xoxo


**AN: A friend of mine asked me about twilight and my otp. They're not all that into twilight but they like to listen to me ramble and fan girl when I do and they ask me questions and such because they like to indulge me in my fantasies and what I love and I just think it's so nice and sweet of them to do that for me because I love answering questions about myself or my interests, anyways they asked me something that really got me thinking.. They asked me what it is I loved about my otp and why I loved them so much. It took me a while to respond because I was really thinking about the question and my answer and when I began my answer it became a waterfall of words and feelings and I remember just feeling so passionate and curious that I couldn't stop. I felt good and comfortable doing it so here are my dumb, silly, fangirl thoughts about my otp and why I love them. Keep in mind: You don't have to read this if you don't want to. :)**

 **~My thoughts on Jasper and María~**

With Jasper and María I like how compatible they are to one another. I love that they have history and chemistry. How they're so much alike each other but also differ a little bit in ways that make things interesting. I love how well they work and fit together and how powerful they become/became when they were together. How they both learned so much from and respect one another. How they kind of pushed the other and saw things the other may not have seen. They rival each other in a lot of similar areas of expertise and yet they also differ a bit in a way that is noticeably appealing. Like it's not simple with them whatsoever. I don't think it ever really was simple with them; but that's what makes it interesting. Their relationship lasted so long and there's still so much we don't know about them; but I guess not having tons of info and knowing everything about them is okay too, it leaves them open for interpretation (an old friend told me this once when I was whining about not having more info on a favorite character) but from what we do get, I can see that they clearly cared for each other on some level and still respect each other. It's like they were getting somewhere with their relationship even if it was more of a slow-build process and it just makes me think and wonder.. Like with general limited info and first-glance some may say/see it as a one sided, abusive, strictly professional relationship but after searching and getting all the nitty gritty details of their relationship that I could get and really thinking about it, it seems as if there was something a little more to them than that? With the kind of care/respect that they show to each other after so many years together. They both eventually grew fond of another, not just one side and with the way they act towards one another there had to have been some romance, some more-than-platonic-strictly-business feelings circling around; but I mean.. I assume it wasn't always like that? Especially in the beginning of their relationship? I mean they obviously still respected each other and were able to work together and stuff but like I think it took a little bit of time for them to get to where they were, and where they view/act towards each other.

To explain what I'm saying: I think had Jasper left anytime sooner, María probably would have immediately hunted him down and killed him or would have found him eventually in Calgary (if that event would even still happen) and killed -or tried to kill- him there no matter if he had politely asked her to keep her distance. Like she wouldn't respect it or listen to him. She would just kill him because he hadn't meant that much to her earlier on in their relationship; but because he spent so much time with her, and was with her for so long and they were like together and in some sort of relationship I believe that is why she didn't kill him when he left at the time he did, and I think that's why she respected him and listened to him when they met again in Calgary and why they consider each other friends, because they came to know each other and became so close and grew to care for and depend on the other. They couldn't kill each other and they couldn't completely let the other go so friends it is.

That's why I think they had some feelings for each other and that it could have eventually grown into love. From what I see it's as if they were slowly but surely going and/or getting somewhere with all types of bumps and issues along the way. They're both kinda messed up and in pretty bad conditions so they don't automatically have a consistently perfect, happy, healthy relationship from the start. It's bad, crazy, and problematic. However, there's potential, there's potency, there's chemistry, there's something there. There's passion and feelings even if they try to close them off. I say that because they both don't really seem like the type to outwardly or dramatically express their feelings? They probably express them in different ways that aren't always obvious at first.

For Jasper, I think the same things. I think he probably would've resented María a little more had he left the southern wars earlier than he did because he didn't really know her like that and she wouldn't have meant that much to him then, he wouldn't have had the time to get to know her a little more or understand her and how she works. He wouldn't have had that time and all the experiences they had together to come to care for her if he had just left early on. I think he probably would just resent her. He still probably wouldn't seek revenge, because I don't really see him ever seeking revenge on her, he'd just let her be; but if he had left earlier on and resented her, he probably would have been more inclined to kill -or at lest try to kill- her when (or if) she sought him out in Calgary because she (intentionally or unintentionally) caused the trouble resulting in them having to leave; but because he left after so many years of being with her I think that's why he doesn't dislike/resent her and still sees her as a friend and still has some unresolved feelings for her, because he knows her. He got the chance to really know her and had the time and experiences to come to love and care for her. Time changes everything and going through what they went through together (the little that we know of at least) and the type of environment and conditions they were in, that type of stuff can bring people closer in a way, because it was just those two very slowly (and perhaps unexpectedly) learning to care and depend on the other. Also I don't think when he left that he was "escaping her" I don't think it was her. That she herself was his reason for leaving because if so then why would he ever be nice or wish her well and hardly speak ill of her? I think he was mainly leaving to escape the war and devastation and problems down south not just María individually. I think the little side relationship that they definitely had issues but I think there was still enough passion that he couldn't hate her and I think it wasn't her but what surrounded them that bothered him so much and she just so happened to be integrated into that.

I think them being together so long and becoming so close made them understand the other more. I think it made María actually see him as he was, made her see and engage him as a person and not a pawn as she got to know him better. It made her more humane. I read somewhere that though she may be cold, she is not unfeeling. She is capable of feeling passion and warmth as just as anyone else and I think Jasper was able to bring out that bit of hidden passion and warmth that resided deep down inside her. I think it made Jasper understand María better as a person too.. how she works and where she's coming from.. her mindset, her feelings, his gift plays into that part a little but I also think it's a neat little addition to their relationship and how they connect. I think that's why he's so gentle with her, he sorta knows her from the inside as well as the outside. They're still friends/friendly. They're on good terms and I absolutely love that they had that time and like grew together and went from something like a turbulent past, to friends. I love that kind of growth that they have. They aren't/weren't perfect and amazing from the start and that's what intrigues me. He's always so patient and calm with her and it makes me wonder why? Like was their relationship really as bad or all around terrible as some like to make it out to be from the very little info that we get on them? We don't really know them as a whole. We only really get on account of event from one person from their perspective. Is there something missing? Something more that isn't/wasn't explored? (That I try exploring almost every day lol) I seriously question this because once Jasper was away and realized things (like everyone does when they get out of any relationship) I think he'd hate her a lot more, and treat/talk about her more harshly; but he doesn't. He's still soft and gentle. Jasper doesn't hate María at all and that just fascinates me because why? Ya know after what she did? What kept them together so long? There had to be something. Some good, some passion, some feeling, otherwise he would feel absolutely nothing for her. I think there was some genuine feelings that they had for each other but it was complicated and/or nearly completely crushed by all the complicated unhealthy stuff surrounding/between them. However they still seem to have a spot for the other per canon.

I feel as if what they had together was deep and potent because they act so out of character when it comes to each other it's almost weird. I think they're both at war with each other and themselves. They both bring about this kind of softer, unpredictable side to each other. They're both known for being ruthless and the get-down-to-business, just-kill-em type and will murder anyone who displeases and/or threatens them or what they value and yet they both don't kill each other when presented with the chances and motives to do so? María doesn't kill Jasper when he leaves, or even when she found out he'd let Peter and Charlotte go, going against her way of things (which I'd assume is a big no no.) She doesn't trust anyone, especially not after the Lucy, Nettie incident and now she doesn't trust Jasper after what he did so she's feeling on edge around him, fearful. She's planning to kill him and she just doesn't... She had an army, she had the time, she had the numbers, the motive and the power. She could have easily offed him if she really wanted to, but she did not. _What was stopping her?_ She even goes as far as actually seeking him out in Calgary, what for? we don't really know. (Sidenote: I REALLY need to know what happened, what their conversation was like and why she was there. Why was she thinking of him enough to stop by for a visit after all those years? It's so captivating and I'm so thirsty!) She even listened to him when he politely told her to keep her distance. Why would María even care enough to actually listen to Jasper let alone actually respect his request?

Then there's him... He has the motive to either kill or be killed by Maria knowing full well that she was planning to kill him, He began planning and even had some numbers himself, he could have went rouge and killed her at any point and yet he doesn't do it. He was the closest to her so I assume they spent majority of their time together and a lot of _alone_ time together. He had all that time and opportunity to carry out his plan before Peter came back and he still didn't do it. We then find out that he was actually _relieved_ that he didn't have to murder her after all when he left with Peter. Fast forward to María showing up in Calgary and putting his whole entire family -including Alice who he's supposedly overprotective of- in danger giving him yet another motive to kill her and all he does is talk to her, politely asking her to "keep her distance".. why not something more aggressive and/or brute like "I hate you, leave and never talk to me again."? In Midnight Sun he was ready to murder Bella at the drop of a dime for even the slightest chance that she may put them in danger by her knowing that they're vampires with her being a human. He caught some heat from the others for it because Bella was a human and the Cullen's aren't supposed to kill humans; but he did nothing to María who had actually put them in danger (based off Edward's view) and is a vampire, giving him free reign to kill her all he wanted without receiving slander from the Cullen's.

They really wouldn't have cared if he killed María then because she was a vampire, not a human so I don't think they would have snapped on him much, and even if they tried to give him crap for it Jasper wouldn't want to hear it because they don't know her like he does; then again... thats just the thing.. he knows her better than anyone else... so why didn't he do anything? Is it because he _knows_ her? Is it because he cares about her wellbeing? Why can't he harm her? Once again he had all the opportunity (motive, numbers, time) to do it and still, he didn't do it. _WHY?_ Why be her friend afterwards? (I wonder if they've ever talked about how they could possibly still like each other after everything they went through and with the history they share) Why does he tell Peter and Charlotte to tell her that he "wishes her well" in Midnight Sun? This suggests that they have a chance of running into her to pass on this message which is a whole nother thing/rant. Why is he thinking of calling her in Eclipse? Which suggests that they are still in some form of loose contact. He is shown to be thinking of her on more than one occasion and this makes me wonder how much he _really_ thinks of her; _Why is he thinking of her?!_ It's utterly mind boggling! I'm so curious! That is why I love them so much. It's so complicated and different and difficult and fun and I have so many questions! It pulls me in and makes me think and if you know me, i _love_ complex things that make me think and question it.

They just match and fit and work so well together. They're both very smart and calculative, they are fascinated with and excell at things like war and fighting, they develop this sort of intense love and devotion to the people they care (or have cared) for. They can be cold and scary but also warm and charming and theyre both pretty crazy with complex morals, personalities, and traits. I take María as the one that's more extroverted out of the two, she's introverted and chill but like she's also that playful kind of crazy deviousness thats weirdly excited, bubbly and smiley but also kinda frightening. Jasper is, well as we see from canon, quieter and calmer and comes off as cold but is also very gentlemanly and gallant and sweet. They're both a get-down-to-business, take-no-shit type. However María's a bit more careless and ruthless and Jasper sort of grounds her and calms her gives her a piece of her humanity by making her feel things she is no longer used to feeling all while dealing with her craziness because he loves a challenge and loves that it's not easy. Easy and complacency seems boring for someone active like him. María kinda gives him that confidence and reassurance to step up and be confident in his abilities and his potential and his ability to be a competent leader and formidable opponet. to be the most productive, strongest version of himself. He's not left to feel weak and watched but to feel capable and dependable. They're troublesome and weird at times but also intruiging and cool and even cute (and i just love to see a woc being some sort of love interest) like i love to think about them being all fluffy and in love but i also love to think about them being more hard and serious but then i also love to think of them being sexual and theres just so much you can see and do. I also like to think of how they maintined control and ran things down south like what did they do? what things did they discuss? Who was in charge of did they switch places from time to time? I love imagining them in some room together going over battle plans and such (vampire bonding :D) both of them being amazed by each others smarts and both of them are always there to catch what another might miss and/or offer new ideas. Like what was it like dealing with intruders or people who broke their law or someone who just messed up in general? It's all so attention grabbing and raises so many questions and I love it. I love María and Jasper plotting battle strategy and maybe placing bets on what will work better, celebrating their victories and dreaming of new conquests and better things. I love that they're actively doing something with their eternity and not sitting around like statues or wallowing in self-pity about having no purpose while also doing nothing about it. There's something so... hopeful about them and that's weird to say because they're a pairing with a lot of darkness too but that's what makes it so interesting! It's like they're so dark but there's so much potential and there's this light at the end of this dark, scary tunnel and they're just taking a slow, leisurely stroll through it all but they enjoy it and take their time with bumps and issues along the way but they can overcome it and there's hope and it's weird and crazy and turbulent but amazing and id have liked to see them working through their problems and facing them head-on like in a battle and growing better and stronger over time and facing new eventual problems with the kind of strength and endurance they possess and just being perfectly imperfect... together.

It's not (or wouldn't be) your average love story. It's not a simple sweet, meet-and-greet, instant love at first sight kind of thing. It's rough, it's raw, and it's real, because real things are rough, and imperfect, there isn't a lot of some supernatural or some outside force that makes them like/have feelings for each other. It's a lot more gradual with them. It's just so different. I believe that's why it appeals to me so much because like I said it's almost like they were working towards something and that they just didn't reach it. Circumstances and such stopped it before it could become something more. Had they stayed together longer, had Jasper not left, I think it would have reached the point where they could love. Where they could work through some of their more serious problems and _love each other_. It's almost like they were softening each other in a way. Little by little. Piece by piece. Some relationships just work the way Maria and Jasper worked and could even improve with time. They could've been so powerful together, a very cute but very scary power couple, and my god if that isn't compelling! I think that's what draws me to them so much, the wasted potential for such a unique and deeply moving love story.

 **(Also I simply love their characters individually and think they're both just so cute lol.)**

 **~su-ángelvicioso xoxo**


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